"All rise, for the king of Nerualia speaks!" A tall man in a bright red cloak stepped aside to reveal Robbie XII, king of Neraulia sitting atop his stone throne.
  "Be seated." Robbie raised a hand to silence the murmurs of the crowd. "Ah, hell. Rise! Be seated. Rise! Heh heh heh, I love being king. My worshipers, as you know, our border disputes with Elocina have escalated over the course of this past harvest. War is imminent, thus generals Hickman and Jones will be recruiting soldiers starting tomorrow. Rest assured Nerualia will triumph!"
  Those gathered leapt to their feet and cheered in agreement.

  King RJ III and queen Nicole VII listened intently as several peasants discussed an attack on their outer perimeter.
  "They were slaves ordered to attack!" One shouted. "This must be dealt with, your majesty. Several guards say that the Nerualians are assembling an army."
  "Yes Mrs. Li," the king replied, "I will have Dower and Vela investigate. Oh, Mr. Li, begin recruiting your own army. We may go to war!"

  Robbie XII approached his wife, Queen Lauren II.
  "What do you think about all of this, dear?" He put a slender arm around the queen's shoulders.
  "I think the same as you." She frowned grimly. "I think that the two kingdoms will go to war. Are you sure that this can't be settled?"
  "Well," he glanced over at one of the slave girls, who was carrying a bucket of water past the entrance to the great hall.
  After she passed, he continued.
  "Lauren, I wish this could be solved diplomatically, but that would make for a rather boring story, now wouldn't it?"
  "Yes it would," Lauren agreed, "but if the---"
  "King Robbie, Queen Lauren!" Paul LeMaire, a French slave barreled down the hallway towards them, "Elocin soldiers! They're in the castle!"
  No sooner had the slave warned them, had eight Elocin soldiers come charging in.
  "Fire, men, fire!" One soldier shouted.
  Instinctively, Robbie and Paul created a human shield around Lauren. Shots rang out and echoed in the great hall. Why shotguns are in a war in the 14th century you ask, well... I don't know! Robbie shouted in shock as a shell shattered his shin. Paul had no choice but to let him fall. Lauren clung to his shoulder, tears filling her eyes.
  "Ok, stop!" Paul shouted. "Look what you ---- ------ have done! You've killed our king!"
  Before the company of soldiers could fire again, three more slaves, alerted by the uproar, ran wildly into the hall. Each tackled a soldier as Paul ran, with Lauren still clinging to his shoulder, in the opposite direction. Paul glanced behind him to see two of the slaves with guns to their heads and the third still struggling with his captor. Paul quickly swerved into an alcove and left Lauren sobbing softly, as he hurried to help his fellow slaves.

  The third slave was still struggling with the soldier when Paul returned. He knew this slave quite well. The two were both beaten when they smuggled a goat from nearby Nitsirkia and threw it at a guard.
  "Jerred!" Paul dove at the soldier. "You no-good ------ --------. Why the ------ -------- ------- the ------ --------."
  He managed to free Jerred from the soldier's grip, but with five more soldiers with guns and knives drawn, it didn't do them much good.
  "Halt!" General Li shouted. "You are now prisoners of the mighty Elocina! One word, and my men shall remove thy heads, so that stubs thereby they remain."
  "What the--" Jerred began but was forever silenced by a knife slicing his head clear off his shoulders.
  The soldier that gripped Paul by the scruff of the neck was dazed for a moment by the decapitation. This gave Paul the chance to bolt for it. He did so.

  Countless shells whizzed by Paul's head as he made a mad dash for the outside.
  "They've invaded!" Paul shouted frantically. "The Elocin have invaded! Hickman! Hickman!"

  RJ and Nicole, perched upon a high tower just outside the castle, were staring off into space but then drew their attention to a slave.
  "Your majesty," Tyler Browder, Nicole's head slave caught his breath. "I bring forth grave news, my liege. Your brother, Lieutenant Dan Taylor has fallen in battle. I am sorry."
  "Lies!" Nicole back-handed Tyler across the face. "My brother is not dead! I'd have slaves throw you in the dungeon, but all are preparing for battle, thus I shall do it myself."
  She drew a blade and guided Tyler from the lookout tower, down past the royal stables, and down a stone stairwell that led to the dungeon. With the blade still drawn, she chained his wrists and ankles to the walls and turned towards a five-disc CD changer. How CD'S got in the 14th century you ask? Well... I don't know! She inserted a Michael Jackson CD, two Dixie Chicks CD'S, a Juvenile CD, and a Brittany Spears CD.
  "The four most annoying groups in the world, and you shall listen to their music, forever!"
  She whooped with laughter, hit the "random" button on the CD changer, and then slid the stone door behind her.

  Paul watched in horror as two guards forced Lauren from the palace.
  "Queen Lauren," a soldier muttered, "General Li of Elocina, and I must say that it's a pleasure. You my dear shall be a slave of the great Nicole VII. May she live long and prosper. Your slave boy there shall be a slave of RJ III. May he too live long and prosper. I must say that it will be a pleasure to see you carrying fire wood to and from the palace."
  "The hell I will!" The queen tore away from the soldier that had a hold of her wrist. "I'll be damned if I serve you! Slave, knife!"
  Paul warily handed his queen the blade. Like something out of one of my stories, Lauren slapped a soldier with the flat edge of the knife. Two others raised their shotguns at Lauren. But before they could fire, Paul tackled both to the ground. The two remaining soldiers dove at Paul, which gave Lauren the chance to behead her captor. With one of her most valued slaves being kicked and punched by four troops of the enemy, Lauren stabbed the two nearest to her in the back. Both went rolling around in the grass, trying to relieve themselves of the pain. She then used the knife as a club and began beating a third soldier over the head with it, as Paul finally overpowered the fourth.
  "Tell your people of your failure!" Lauren shouted. "And also tell them that this war is official. You ---- -------- will suffer a slow, painful death."
  The two soldiers painfully got to their feet and reluctantly obeyed.

  Night fell on Nerualia, as Paul finally got back to his dreary quarters. As he was hanging his cloak on its given hook, his wife rushed over to him and threw her arms around his neck.
  "Oh Paul!" She sobbed. "War! We're going to war!"
  "Ah, cah, bret," Paul gasped, his wife's embrace strangling him.
  "Oh," she sniffled, "well, are they going to send you off to fight the Elocin?"
  "I volunteered this afternoon to stand guard in front of the royal chamber." Paul laid down on the small pallet. "I won't be going to Elocina."
  "Thank God, thank God!" She clung to her husband's shoulder.
  Paul then got up, and with his wife still clinging to his shoulder, proceeded to their small bed. The door closed slowly behind them, and the night fell silent...

  The next morning was much more pleasant than expected in a kingdom going to war. Marli Hickman and Mallory LeMaire met in the town square, as did every other resident of Nerualia. Mason Hickman stood before those assembled and presently was giving the signal for silence.
  "As all of you know," he shouted over the remaining murmurs of the crowd, "yesterday, a small group of Elocin tried to kill our queen. As the highest ranking member of the military in this kingdom, I will be recruiting peasants and slaves alike to lead a massive invasion. King Robbie XII, thought dead, is in fact still alive, but very weak. From his wounds, we will devour the nutrients of which we shall use to conquer Elocina!"

  RJ spat. Where? I don't know. He just spat, ok! Vela and Li were presently telling him of their failure.
  "Your majesty," General Li grimaced with pain, his wounds not yet healed, "do you think it wise to attack in the midst of the night? We've been known for that mode of attack. And with that against us, Nerualia may be planning for such an attack."
  "I stick with my plans!" RJ raised his voice. "Are you questioning my strategy?"
  "No-no-no, Sire," Li stuttered, "I-I-I just thought that, as your general, that-that, I should give you alternatives to your, umm, flawless battle plans."
  "Giving alternatives?" RJ stood up. "The only alternatives you are giving, are those of people whom defeating we'll be shall upon the arrival of the dawning of the new birth of Christ!"
  "Sire?" General Li asked. "Why are you acting so---"
  "So what, General!" Nicole stopped General Li in mid-sentence. "What have you to say-and need I remind you that not once in this story has there been an execution!"
  "Yes, of course, Queen, but I----" General Li protested.
  "Off with his head!" Nicole shouted, hammering her fist on the stone table. "Damn! Off with his head!"
  General Li tore away from General Vela and frantically ran for the door.
  "Messer, Trammell!" Vela shouted to two Elocin slaves.
  Obediently, the two slaves ran after General Li, who by this time was climbing the palace gates.
  "Guards, guards!" Vela shouted as he charged from the palace. "The queen ordered Li be killed!"
  "Yes, sir!" The guards aimed their shotguns at Li and began firing.

  Three shots whizzed past Li's head. Two captured Nerualian slaves, who were presently fetching water from a nearby well, saw Li running towards them. One slave ran past Li to where the guards were firing their shotguns and created a diversion, while the second quickly led Li to a grove of trees near the great wall which encircled the kingdom. Once the other slave had returned, Li led the two slaves up and over the wall, gunshots ringing throughout the kingdom as they made their escape.

  Lauren II grinned as General Hickman bowed slightly towards her.
  "Good work, Mr. Hickman." Lauren smiled. "How many?"
  "Two hundred of the bravest men in the kingdom, your majesty." Hickman replied. "We'll begin the invasion at dawn tomorrow."
  "See that you do." She turned from Hickman to the 200 soldiers standing before her. "Do my kingdom proud."
  Without a word, Hickman led the soldiers out of the palace.
  "I'm done cleaning the royal septic tanks, your queenliness." The royal janitor stepped into the empty room. "What else shall I do?"
  "Nothing, Mr. Clower, nothing." Lauren gazed past Clower to where Paul LeMaire was standing just outside her chamber. "I could use another guard."
  "Of course, your majesty." Clower went off to the artillery hall and stood by Paul LeMaire with a shotgun in hand.

  The two slaves led General Li to the palace, where two guards were standing.
  "Halt!" LeMaire shouted, pointing the gun at General Li. "Currin, Miller, who is this?"
  "General Li of Elocina." Currin replied. "He has information..."
  "Take him to Mr. Hickman." Clower ordered.
  As the slaves led General Li away from the guards, a deadly calm once again settled on Nerualia.

  An eerie silence descended on the two kingdoms. Deep in the blackened blackness of the night, Vela and 150 Elocin troops silently began their march towards Nerualia. By 2:00 AM, they had reached the thick forest that surrounded the sleeping kingdom. Silently, Vela turned and faced his army.
  "Arm yourselves, men." He glanced behind him into the trees. "We're going in."

  John Clower, formerly the royal janitor, surveyed the night sky. As far as he could tell, he was the only resident up and about. Everyone else was preparing for the march at dawn. He had about four more hours until Paul's shift, so he fingered the trigger on his shotgun and continued staring off into the blackness. Abruptly John was at attention. A shadow was coming towards him. He raised his shotgun and fixed it on the silhouette's face.
  "John!" Mallory LeMaire gasped.
  "Ah, crap." He lowered the shotgun. "Sorry, Ms. LeMaire. Shouldn't you be home asleep?"
  "I just couldn't rest without knowing that Paul was ok." Mallory replied.
  "Well," John thought for a second, "Paul's asleep in an alcove just past the queen's chamber."
  "Thank you." Mallory strolled past John and into the main hall of the palace.

  John turned his attention back to the kingdom that lay before him. Again, he was abruptly brought to attention. General Li was catching his breath as he stopped mid-way up the palace steps.
  "The Elocin!" He shouted. "I just remembered the Elocin were planning to invade tonight. Before I was banished from Elocina, King RJ III said he was going to invade! You need to --"
  Three Elocin soldiers threw General Li aside.

  John fired his gun into the night's sky.
  "Invasion! Invasion!" He shouted at the top of his lungs. "They've invaded! The Elocin have invaded!"
  He quickly lowered the gun and fired at the three soldiers who were now almost at the palace entrance. He guessed they were scouts and that the actual army was still a few hundred yards away. Quickly he ran into the palace and woke Paul and Mallory LeMaire. He then pounded on the door of the queen's chamber.
  "Your Majesty, they've invaded!" He shouted.
  After a few moments, Queen Lauren II emerged from her chamber. And with Mallory and Paul following them, John escorted the queen down to the cellar. Paul swung the door in behind them, as the Elocin stormed through the kingdom above.
  "Paul," John whispered as soon as Paul closed the door, "go get Robbie. If he dies, we die."
  "Yep." Lauren grinned as Paul sighed and then opened the door again.
  He found Robbie sitting up in his bed, barely able to keep his eyes open.
  "What's going on, slave!" He demanded.
  "The Elocin have invaded, Your Majesty." Paul said quickly. "Queen Lauren and my wife, Mallory, are already in the cellar."
  "Very well." Robbie rose from the bed weakly and led the way down the stone steps to the entrance to the cellar.

  Vela shouted orders as his army rampaged through Nerualia. It then dawned on him that although they were destroying homes and businesses, there were very few residents. Vela looked up in contempt at the Nerualian army marching towards them.
  "You ---- Nerualian ------s!" Vela shouted.
  The Nerualian army raised their shotguns to the sky and fired bullets just over the heads of the Elocin.
  "Forward, men, forward!" Vela waved his arms wildly as his army advanced. "Fire, fire!"
  After the grass fire had been put out, the Elocin returned fire as the Nerualians again fired their shotguns over the heads of the Elocin.

  "Nicole," RJ called to Nicole, who was staring off into the distance. "What's wrong?"
  "We need to be there." She turned to her husband. "I'm not gonna sit on my --- whilst we give the Nerualians a thrashing."
  "Agreed," RJ walked over to her. "I'll get a couple of slaves, and we'll go."
  Within a few minutes, RJ had returned with two slaves: Kristin Zimmerer and Lauren Besselman.
  "Alright then," Nicole turned away from the slaves, "let's go."

  Vela smashed his shotgun over a Nerualian's head. Another nearly sliced off Vela's arm.
  "Stephen! Tad!" Vela shouted to two soldiers who were moments away from encountering five Nerualians.
  Stephen shot one in the face, but both he and Tad received three shots to the chest and head, killing both instantly.
  "Fire the cannon!" Jones shouted over his shoulder.
  The Nerualians were the first to ever invent the cannon. (Funny, how they have shotguns all over the place but not cannons.) Currin aimed the cannon squarely at the Elocin general.
  "Fire!" Jones shouted.
  The cannon rushed towards the army, letting loose a loud "bang!" Vela dove for cover, but there was no escape. He and over a third of his army were knocked to the ground. It seemed as if the Nerualians would in fact be triumphant, but there luck ran out as soon as twelve AK-47'S were brought to the Elocin front-lines. Panic-stricken, the Nerualian army retreated, but the Elocin soon cornered them. Desperately, the Nerualians fired what they had left. But even after they'd done so, there were still seventy-three Elocin.
  "Stop!" Vela shouted, getting to his feet. "They've been defeated. King RJ has requested that we take them all back as slaves!"
  The Nerualians, knowing they were defeated, complied.

  Nicole, RJ, and the two slaves crept past the fallen Nerualians and made their way to the palace. Without any of the soldiers seeing them, they entered the palace gates.
  "Your Majesty," Besselman glanced into the queen and king's chambers, "the king and queen are not in their chamber."
  "I suspected as much." RJ grinned. "But if I know those Nerualians, they're probably in the cellar."
  Kristin led the way down the hall. The four cautiously made their way down a flight of steps. And there it was... The door to the royal cellar.

  Paul and Mallory sat close together in the far corner of the room. Robbie stood weakly in the other corner, with Lauren at his side. John stood near the door, a shotgun under his arm. John glanced briefly at Lauren, who was now half asleep, along with Robbie. Paul and Mallory too were asleep. A sudden noise brought John's attention back to the door. The brass knob was slowly turning. He was about to try to brace himself against the heavy door, when it suddenly swung open, nearly hitting him in the face.

  Two slaves leapt at John, knocking him to the stone floor. Paul held Mallory close and angrily shook his fist at the two slaves.
  "Damn you!" He shouted. "Damn you all to Hell!"
  John clutched his head and got to his feet. Before he could get his bearings, RJ and Kristin pinned John against the wall. Paul watched in horror as Besselman handed an AK-47 to Nicole.
  "Paul!" John shouted. "Fetch the royal mop!"
  Before Paul could move an inch, Nicole fired the gun at John's face. A split second before she fired, RJ and Kristin ducked and ran over to where Besselman was standing. With the first shot, John collapsed in a pool of blood.
  "Ha!" Paul leapt at RJ. "Kill the royal janitor will you!"
  The two went down fighting. Paul hammered at RJ'S face and within moments had him pinned.
  "Get off my husband!" Nicole's eyes were blazing with anger as Paul complied.
  "Hold on there, Nicole." Robbie staggered across the room to where Paul stood. "Don't you dare shoot him."
  "Why the Hell shouldn't I shoot him!?" Nicole shouted, the gun now pointed at Robbie.
  "Because," Robbie's voice turned from nasal to baritone, "Nicole... I am your father!"
  "What the--" she began, but was cut off by a sudden tackle from behind by Mallory.
  As the two went rolling across the stone cellar, punching and scratching, Paul retrieved the AK-47 and threw it out the open doorway. Since all eyes were on Nicole, who now had Mallory pinned to the floor beneath her, no one saw Paul throw the gun out the door and down the stairs.
  "Kristin!" Nicole shouted. "Bring me the knife."
  She did so.
  "No, you can't!" Paul stepped toward her. "I, I, I'll take her place. Just don't kill her."
  Nicole looked up from her victim.
  "Very well." She got to her feet and walked over to Paul. "If any of you try to help him, Besselman here will kill each and every one of you with the-what the hell! Where the hell did that damn gun go!"
  "I don't know!" Besselman protested. "You were the last one with it!"
  "Ah yes." Nicole thought for a bit and then remembered the task at hand. "Well, to hell with the gun. This slave must die!"
  Paul began backing away from Nicole, who matched his pace, the knife steadily fixed on Paul's throat. Inevitably Paul would be cornered, and inevitably he was. Paul looked past Nicole and the knife to Mallory, who had her face in her hands, not wanting to see what was soon to take place. Nicole gave Paul an evil glare and brought the knife forward. That hideous glare was the last thing Paul saw before the black void of death consumed him.

  Robbie held his ground, as Nicole, RJ, Besselman, and Kristin slowly advanced. Lauren stood at his side, with Mallory weeping quietly behind them. As soon as RJ was in range, Robbie forgot about his injuries and, with determination in his eyes, knocked the king of Elocina backwards and soon had his enemy in a headlock.
  "This war isn't over." He whispered hoarsely. "You and your ----- are the two whom must die for the war to be over. And as God as my witness, you will die!"
  Robbie used all his remaining strength to hoist RJ over his shoulder and hurl him over his head. He was conscious long enough to watch King RJ crash head-first into the stone wall. As he began falling forward, he saw Kristin coming at him, knife drawn.

  Vela closed the gates behind him. His men had found about 120 Nerualians altogether, but there may still be a few hiding that they'd missed. In which case, he planned to find them. He found a few citizens dead under the rubble brought on by their rampage, but there were no survivors. As he turned back to the gates, he suddenly was flung onto the paved road. Vela was dazed long enough for a rope to be tied around his wrists. His captor hauled him to his feet.

  Standing before him were a slave, a local Nerualian, and a general.
  "What have you done with my husband!" The woman shouted. "He was the lead general! What the ---- have you ---- ------s done with him!"
  "Mr. Hickman will be a slave of his majesty, King RJ III." Vela replied. "Tell your slave to quit giving me the finger!"
  "If Ms. Mulkey wishes to flip you off, she may do so." Marli gave him a hateful glare. "Mr. Jones?"
  The general looked down at Vela.
  "Our king and queen are safely in the palace cellar," General Jones took hold of Vela's arm and led him towards the palace, "and we can ask them what they want us to do with you."

Lauren kicked the knife out of Kristin's hand. Robbie lay barely conscious where he'd fallen. Mallory obediently picked up the knife and handed it to Lauren.
  "What are you waiting for?" Nicole patronized. "Kill us!"
  "The chances of me successfully killing you, RJ, and your two slaves without getting killed myself are somewhat slim." Lauren replied.
  Just then, the door swung open, and Jones entered, dragging Vela behind him. He stopped in utter shock at what he saw. John Clower lay dead a few feet away. Robbie lay barely conscious in the middle of the floor. besides Lauren and Mallory, who were staring right back at him from across the room, Jones recognized no one. However, Vela did.
  "Your Majesty!" Vela shouted. "How did you get here!"
  "None of that, Mr. Vela!" Nicole snapped.
  "Your Highness," Anne Mulkey bowed towards Lauren, "I found this AK-47 just past the--"
  "Give me that!" Nicole snatched the gun from Anne. "Besselman, Kristin, get back!"
  She glanced around at the six Nerualians before her. She then pointed at Vela.
  "Let him go!" She ordered.
  Jones, not wanting to wind up like his dead comrade in the corner, quickly untied the knot and let the rope fall to the floor. Vela quickly ran to where Nicole was standing and made sure he was out of range of the AK-47. Nicole aimed the gun squarely at Lauren.
  "No!" Robbie got to his feet. "I won't have you kill Lauren! You can't."
  Robbie stood weakly in front of Nicole.
  "Ah hell!" She aimed the gun at Robbie's chest. "You'll be the first to go."
  Robbie closed his eyes, awaiting the deadly shot. He heard the gun fire and expected death along with it... But the shot had missed. He opened his eyes to see RJ with a firm grasp on Nicole's arm. She tried to shake him off her, but RJ'S grip, for once, was too strong.
  "RJ!" She shouted in frustration. "Why didn't you let me shoot him?"
  "Because," he put an arm around her shoulders, "this is something I think we should do together."
  "That was beautiful!" Jones blew his nose in a handkerchief as tears came to his eyes. "That was just beautiful."
  As Jones was tossing his handkerchief aside, Kristin suddenly lunged out at Mallory. Rather than helping Mallory, Anne lashed out at Besselman. All four ran head-long into each other, with Anne and Besselman knocking themselves out. Mallory took no time in worrying about Anne but caught Kristin off guard and knocked her backwards. Kristin was never able to get the upper hand. And after a few minutes, she lay unconscious, Mallory's attack leaving behind numerous cuts and bruises on her face and arms. Knowing she was vulnerable at that point, she quickly ran back beside Marli. Robbie took a step towards Nicole and RJ.
  "Look," he said calmly, "you're outnumbered... Admit defeat, and we'll keep you just as peasants, not slaves."
  "I'd rather die than be in a kingdom led by you!" Vela shouted. "My allegiance is to his Majesty King RJ!"
  Without warning, Nicole raised the AK-47 and fired.

  Robbie dropped to the floor, but Nicole's shots were not aimed at him, but rather, his fellow Nerualians. He heard someone shout, a girl's scream... Then Nicole's muffled swears. He sat up and got to his feet. Vela was on Nicole's back, his hands grabbing at the AK-47. Under Vela's weight, Nicole fell forward, but she kept a strong grip on the gun. Slowly, and steadily, she got to her feet, Vela still on her back. She raised the gun and hit Vela once in the chest, sending him falling to the floor. Robbie quickly grabbed Nicole by the wrist and wrenched the gun out of her grasp. With all his strength, he smashed the gun against the floor. He then looked behind him. Jones and Lauren lay dead. Mallory, unscathed, ran over to Robbie.
  "Alright," he said softly, "our kingdom is yours."
  Mallory gasped in disbelief.
  "Why!" She stared at her king, who no-longer looked the roll.
  "She just killed Lauren." Robbie said bluntly. "I can't go on like this."
  "A wise decision." RJ grinned. "Vela, please escort this slave girl back to Elocina. She shall not be a slave like some of the others. I admire her courage."
  "Yes, sir." Vela took Mallory's arm gently and led her out the door.
  "I can't believe it." Robbie said weakly. "My entire life is gone."
  RJ and Nicole said nothing as Robbie knelt beside Lauren and wept softly. After a few minutes, he stood back up. He said nothing, but opened the door to the cellar and ran straight for the royal kitchen. By the time Nicole and RJ had reached him, Robbie had already bled to death.

  That night, Vela set Nerualia ablaze. All of Elocina cheered as the flames were spotted over the stone wall. Besselman and Mulkey had been retrieved from the cellar. Kristin was too badly beaten and had died while Nicole and RJ had gotten back to their kingdom. King RJ and Queen Nicole stood at the front of the crowd, watching their enemies' nation burn.
  "It's too bad for Robbie." RJ began. "He would've made a good slave."
  "I'm glad he burned." Nicole said absent mindedly. "He went up against our kingdom, and he got what he deserved."
  RJ turned his attention back to the burning kingdom. Now that his two enemies were dead, he'd have to find some new ones.