Nicole Taylor and Lauren Wick sat in a small coffee house near Lafayette, Louisiana. Presently, a waiter was handing them their espressos.
  "Good morning, ladies." The waiter set down the steaming mugs. "Will that be all?"
  "Yes," Nicole glanced at him and then began chugging the espresso.
  "How much?" Lauren asked.
  "Uh," the waiter thought for a second, "that comes to $4.28."
  "Here's a buck." Lauren handed the man a dollar.
  "Miss, the tab's $4.28." The waiter replied.
  "A buck!" Lauren shouted and then lowered her voice. "You've heard of those deaths over in Texas? Well we're responsible. And I won't hesitate to kill you."
  "Heh heh." The waiter turned away, his face gone pale. "So you... Are... Run people, run!"
  Nicole slapped Lauren across the face.
  "Why the Hell did you do that?!" She shouted. "Now we're wanted in two states!"
  "Eh, eh, eh," Lauren showed her a newspaper clip from 1997 when she killed a family in Oklahoma, "three."
  The two fled the coffee house along with the others, trying their best to blend in. When they had gotten away from the crowd, the two murderers jumped into Lauren's Studebaker and drove eastward.

  McBob glanced back at the paper, as Regenold's questions continued.
  "Ok, ok!" McBob shouted. "They were last reported near a small town in Louisiana called J'aime Beacoupe le Vomir. They were heading east at around 50 MPH. By now, they should be in Corn Husk, Mississippi. Get Currin, and meet me at the airport in an hour. If the cops can't do anything about it, then we will."
  "Gotcha." Regenold replied. "Should I get tickets for Jackson?"
  "Hmmmmmm," McBob thought for a bit, "well, they may be expecting us to fly. But knowing them, they're more concerned with getting as far away from here as possible. I'll see you in an hour."
  "Ok." Regenold hung up the phone.

  Lauren and Nicole stopped at the Corn Husk post office around 10:30. They were planning to send some hate mail to Robbie's family.
  "Hey, look!" Nicole shouted. "I can see myself."
  "That's a mirror." Lauren replied. "You're looking in a mirror!"
  "Oh." Nicole lowered the compact. "Hey look! I can see myself!"
  "No, no, no," Lauren glanced up, "that's just a wanted poster. Hmmmm. A wanted poster... Of us... Crap!"
  The two ran from the deserted building, not realizing they were the only ones in there to begin with. The explanation for this display of stupidity stems from so many weeks as cheerleaders. Hey! Drop that hammer! Ouch, ouch, ow! Cheerleaders are smart, intelligent people who deserve more respect than they're given... Hahaha!
  "So where do we go now?" Asked Nicole. "Back to Texas?"
  "Yes." Lauren frowned towards the west. "We will kill them before they can kill us."
  "I don't think they were planning to--" Nicole began.
  "Before they can kill us!" Lauren shouted. "I've been in this story for ten months now! I'm going to end it and rid myself of this torture. But first, I'm gonna get some more coffee."

  "Flight 666 to Jackson, Mississississississippi is now boarding." A voice murmured.
  "Excellent," Charles Montgomery Burns walked past Currin, Regenold, and McBob, as they were loading their luggage onto the luggage whatever.
  "How you kids doin'!" A man walked up to the three. "My name's Truck Drivin' Bob. What's your name, sonny?"
  "Bob McBob, FBI." McBob said in a low tone. "This is Currin and Regenold. Good day to you, sir."
  "Dag nab it, you kids today, with your nin-ten-do, and your Co-ca-co-la!" The man continued ranting as McBob led Regenold and Currin to the plane.

  After an hour, the two cheerleaders pulled up to the Jackson, Mississippi International Airport... To get coffee. They finally were able to find a small cafe near gate 13-M.
  "Hey!" Lauren shouted at a man behind the counter. "Give me seven espressos, now now now! I need caffeine!"
  "Right away." He quickly deposited the seven espressos. "That'll be $30.17."
  "Fine fine fine." She handed over the money and followed Nicole to a table, carrying the seven espressos on a small tray.
  "So now what?" Nicole asked.
  "I uh knuh." Lauren said between swigs. "Oh yeah! I am Caffeinitized! Woo! Bublebublebublebubleoo, woooooooo!!"
  "Flight 666 from DFW International Airport is landing." A voice called over a loudspeaker. "Passengers will enter through gate 13-M."
  The two girls dropped the espressos and like zombies, rose from their chairs. They walked stiffly towards the luggage claim and stood... Waiting.

  "Let's go." McBob led Currin and Regenold out of the plane, and up the little thingy that connects to the door thingy of the runway-I don't know what it's called.
  "So should we go down to Corn Husk?" Regenold asked.
  "We'll get some lunch first." McBob replied. "I don't want to jump into anything this go around."
  "Ok," Currin replied, "fair enough."
  "But if the--" McBob stuttered, "if, if, the the-if, if, if--"
  "If what!" Regenold caught up with McBob and looked where McBob was looking. "What are, uh, are, what are, are are are, what--"
  "What are you two so "wha-wha" about?" Currin glanced in the same direction. "Oh, I see. Hmmmm. I'd recommend that we run like Hell."
  Currin and Regenold bolted away from Taylor and Wick, who were catching up fast. However, McBob's eyes met with Lauren's, and for a moment, the two stared at each other. Then McBob, being Mr. Track Star who beat Joel Kristopherson-amen, caught up with Regenold and Currin.

  Frightened spectators got out of McBob's way, as he once again led Regenold and Currin through the terminal. Lauren and Nicole were narrowing the gap, even though McBob was going at top-speed. As Regenold and McBob turned a corner, they heard Currin's high-pitched shouts from behind. Regenold glanced over his shoulder to see that Currin had tripped on a step that separated one terminal from another, which was several feet above it. Currin tried to get to his feet, but Lauren and Nicole reached him before he could do so.
  "No!" McBob grabbed Regenold by the shoulder. "Currin can take care of himself. Uh, wait."
  He watched as Lauren began giving Currin jabs to the face, each barely being blocked.
  "Ok." McBob ducked down and charged at Lauren.
  Again their eyes met, and a smile briefly crossed Lauren's face. Then it went back to a vengeful glare.

  Her smile had caught Robbie off guard, and so did three hard blows to his face. As he was trying to get his bearings, he suddenly saw the floor coming up at him. Before he hit, he knew Nicole had tripped him, and he instinctively tried to catch himself. Rather than the floor, McBob grabbed Lauren's foot, which came up and nailed him in the chest. Her kick struck with such force that it sent him back up to his feet and onto his back.

  Regenold turned from Lauren to Nicole, who laughed quietly as McBob tried to ward off another of Lauren's punches. Nicole let out some kind of death cry, and with one leap, had her right foot on RJ'S shoulder. Using his shoulder as a foothold, she twirled around RJ'S head three times, her heel digging into RJ'S flesh all the while. After the third twirl, she dismounted, the force of which sent RJ skidding on the slick floor of the terminal. RJ glanced behind him as he went crashing into a wall, in time to see McBob fly backwards and crash into a wall.

  When Currin saw his two comrades fall victim to cheerleaders gone mad, he slowly backed away, thinking he'd gone unnoticed. But of course, there was no escape. Nicole shoved Currin, so that he fell backwards down the three steps that separated the two terminals. Currin was dazed long enough for Lauren to tie his wrists and lead him to an elevator. After reaching the car, she forced Currin into the backseat and raised a hand-gun, thereby making sure he didn't try to get away.

  McBob slowly rose to his feet as Nicole dragged RJ'S unconscious body into an elevator. He took an escalator down to the first floor and hurried after Nicole, who shook a knife at a security guard. He kept his distance as she strolled into the parking lot and watched as she, along with Lauren, hauled RJ into the backseat with Currin. McBob knew that if he were to do anything, this would be his only chance.

  He jumped onto the hood of a car and leapt at Lauren. He gripped Lauren's shoulders and hit her in the back with his knees. Lauren gasped for air and toppled over, bringing Robbie with her. Desperately, she kicked and scratched at Robbie, who tried deflecting the blows. Before she could overpower him, he managed to get a few shots at her face. He found himself weakened and unable to keep up as Lauren continued her attack. Within a few minutes, McBob lay panting heavily and didn't struggle as Nicole and Lauren dragged him to his feet.
  "Get in with Regenold." Lauren opened the door as McBob reluctantly slipped in next to Currin.
  Nicole went over to the driver's seat as Lauren gave McBob the finger and went to the passenger seat.
  "Wow!" McBob began rolling up and down the window. "Cooooooooooool!"
  "Wow!" Currin did the same. "Ha ha, this is cool. Ha ha ha ha."
  "Silence!" Lauren shouted. "Don't make me come back there!"
  "The Hell you can." McBob shouted back. "Wow, a hill! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!"
  Nicole, outraged, pulled on the breaks as they descended down the hill. The car went up on its front wheels and began flipping forward. Almost immediately, McBob was thrown from the open window and shouted in Armenian as he landed on the side of the road. McBob watched in horror as the car continuously flipped and bounced down the hill.

  As soon as the car stopped, McBob sprinted down the hill and was on the wreckage within seconds. He took a deep breath before opening the door to the backseat. He turned away from the sight, but he had seen enough of it to know what was wrong. Currin lay dead, his neck having been snapped like a twig. Regenold lay on the floor of the car, and remarkably, was alive. McBob slowly closed the door and then proceeded to the passenger-side, and again, inhaled deeply to calm himself. He opened the door carefully and nearly fainted with the terror of what lay before him. Lauren was in shock, her breathing erratic. She was going into convulsions. McBob pulled her out and shook her hard, although I think that's just the opposite of what you should do to someone in that situation.
  "Wick!" He shouted. "Wick! Lauren! Oh god, oh god!"
  He set Lauren down in the grass and went over to Nicole, fearing the worst. Nicole was conscious but appeared to have been hit in the head with something. She looked at McBob briefly but then grimaced in pain and clutched her head. She let out a slight moan as McBob lifted her out of the car. He then returned to Lauren, who was convulsing worse than before.

  He knelt down next to her and looked deep into her eyes.
  "Lauren!" He shouted again. "You can't die! Please! Don't die on me, Lauren! You and me, we're enemies. If you die, then I'd serve no purpose. Come on, Lauren! Don't die!"
  He lowered his head to hers and kissed her on the cheek.
  "Oh god!" Her voice was one of sheer terror. "I'm in Hell!"
  She rose unsteadily to her feet.
  "No!" she was in a cold sweat. "Ah crap! I'm alive! John, you'll pay for this one!"
  She walked stiffly to where Nicole sat, still clutching her head, and helped her to her feet.
  "Huh!" RJ braced himself as he got out of the car. "Oh no."
  He limped over to Robbie, whose gaze was fixed on Lauren.
  "Robbie?" Regenold looked frightened. "Robbie!"
  "What?" Robbie murmured, still staring into Lauren's eyes.
  "Snap out of it!" Regenold shouted. "This ain't good for the plot line. Hey wait."
  He glared at Nicole.
  "Did you have something to do with this!" Regenold said accusingly.
  Nicole only looked at Lauren, whose eyes were locked with Robbie's.
  "Me?!" Nicole pointed at Lauren. "What about you?"
  "I'm fine." Lauren said softly.
  "But Robbie's not!" Regenold looked back at Robbie. "He's like a zombie. This whole thing's just not right."
  "Really?" Nicole smiled at RJ.
  "No no no!" He shouted. "It won't work on me. Nuh uh! So remove ye eyes from whence they came, lest thee, that's me, shall crush and maim."
  "Hmmmmmm," Nicole continued staring, "you don't say."
  "Can't stare, must look away." RJ lowered his eyes. "It won't work. I shall remain sane and not fall victim to your evile ways. Someone has to keep this story going, and that someone is me! Got it!"
  At that moment, Lauren approached Robbie and put one hand on his shoulder. Robbie near fainted at this, but his hope soon changed to pain as Lauren's other hand slapped him full-force in the face.
  "Ah!" Robbie suddenly snapped back into reality. "Huh? Eh? Holy crap!"
  Lauren came at him again, and once again slapped Robbie in the face.
  "RJ!" Robbie shouted. "Help!"
  As so many times before, Regenold intercepted a slap from Lauren, which was soon followed by a kick from Nicole. The combination of which knocked him off balance.
  "No no!" Robbie dove towards a bush as Nicole and Lauren rushed at him again.

  It was a whirl-wind of events, with Nicole and Lauren attacking Robbie and/or RJ when given the opportunity. RJ flinched as Lauren gave forth the cheerleader death cry. She landed square on RJ'S head, her heels baring down on his forehead. RJ gripped Lauren around the ankles and knocked her off. Meanwhile, Nicole had Robbie in a headlock and was continuously punching him in the face. However, Robbie soon locked elbows with her and threw her several yards away from him. He was about to attack again, when Nicole pulled out the hand-gun.
  "Dive for cover!" Robbie shouted.
  Robbie turned from RJ in time to see Nicole fire at his face. The bullet hit dead-on, and everything went black.
  "What was that Robbie!" RJ turned from Lauren just as Robbie crumpled to the ground. "Bye!"
  Just as he was about to bolt for the road, Lauren's arm caught him around the neck. He struggled to get away, but her grip was too strong.
  "Go ahead," Lauren called.
  And she did. RJ gave out one final shout as the bullet tore into his flesh.

  McBob sat up and was astonished to find himself in utter darkness. He rubbed his eyes and then felt for the wound from Nicole's gun-shot, but all he could find was a bruise. He felt around for a bit and eventually found a door. McBob cautiously got to his feet and slowly turned the knob. He found himself standing on a small street. Several streetlights dotted the area, and near-identical structures, like the one he'd just exited, stood in neat little rows that were criss-crossed by the small streets. He tried to remember what time he'd been shot. He guessed that it had been around noon. He then looked up at the night sky. He guessed that it was about 1:00 or 2:00 in the morning. The moon shone like a speck in the midst of the streetlights, but it gave McBob the approximate time. Given that most highways permitted a 70 MPH speed limit, he calculated that he could be up to nine hundred miles away from Corn Husk by now.

  Just then, three silhouettes, who'd obviously been watching him, crept from the darkness and motioned for McBob to follow them. They zigzagged their way through the maze of streets which seemed to go on and on for miles. There was no change in the buildings or the streets. McBob felt as if he were in a 3-D test pattern. The tessellation was finally breached by an immense structure that must've been the center of this desolate city. Guards were posted at various points of the structure, and all stood aside as McBob was led through the large wooden doors.

  For a moment, there was complete silence. But within a few seconds, a series of lights illuminated the large room. Robbie gaped in awe at the great hall. There were about two thousand people seated in long benches that separated to form two aisles. At the very front of the hall, sat Lauren Wick atop a platform that overlooked those congregated before her. There were about thirty windows running down each side of the room, with a guard posted at each. Each guard held a hand-gun and knife. It was then that McBob noticed that the entire population of this city was female, his train of thought was abruptly interrupted by a shout from the front of the hall.
  "Bring forth the prisoner!" Lauren's voice cut through the air.
  As Robbie was escorted down the aisle, he noticed that each girl was dressed in the same type of uniform. Then he realized what this was. It was an army of cheerleaders! His three escorts, who were no exception to the cheerleader attire, stopped in front of Lauren, who rose from her platform and stood before McBob. Unlike the others, Lauren wore numerous elegant robes and a glittering crown of pure gold, giving Lauren a striking resemblance to a queen.
  "What is this!" McBob made a sweeping motion to indicate the city.
  "Well," Lauren grinned, "this is all a conspiracy! We are conspiring to take over the world! We have our own language, gods, and laws!"
  "What language!" Robbie demanded.
  "Girls," Lauren turned to the rest of the congregation.
  Instantly, thousands of giggles filled the room.
  "And you call that your language?" McBob laughed. "Who are your gods?"
  Lauren motioned to a teen sitting in the first row. The cheerleader rose and pulled on a chord, which drew back a curtain that covered one of the gigantic walls. McBob nearly fainted at what he saw. Behind the curtain, stood three statues: one of August Shanle, one of Joel Kristopherson, and one of Josh Farrer.
  "Holy crap!" Robbie shouted. "I gotta get out of here! Praising these three as gods is making me sick."
  The three guards drew razor-sharp blades to his throat.
  "You can worship me as your queen, or you can be a sacrifice to our gods." Lauren motioned towards the gods to her right.
  "Umm," Robbie murmured, "no. Neither."
  He ducked under the blades and sent all three girls sprawling as he plowed through them and barreled back up the aisle.
  "Kill him!" Lauren leapt from the platform, knife in hand. "Kill him! He mustn't get away!"

  Regenold heard the shouts and saw McBob come charging up the street. However, before he could try and help him, Lauren came flying through the air and took McBob to the ground. The thousands of cheerleaders cheered as Lauren immediately began bashing Robbie in the head. They formed a tight circle around the two and cheered on. Being cheerleaders, they began shouting at Lauren, who by now was hidden in their midst. Regenold spotted Nicole on the outer fringes of the group and pulled her away just as yet another cheer was breaking out.
  "What the Hell do you want!" Nicole shouted. "Robbie will be dead within seconds."
  "Look," Regenold said in a hoarse whisper, "this isn't supposed to happen. You're not supposed to be here. I'm not supposed to be here. If Robbie dies, and Lauren succeeds in taking over the world, then we'll be rubbed out of the story just like that!"
  "Do you think I care!" Nicole scoffed. "So long as I live, then I'm hap--"
  Nicole stopped in mid-sentence. Rather than shouts and cheers, there was only dead silence. Regenold and Nicole both turned towards the crowd and took a step backwards in shock. Lauren and Robbie's lips were locked in a deep, passionate kiss. The cheerleaders, who moments before were cheering, now slowly backed away, their leader having lost her merciless, hateful image.
  "Robbie!" Regenold shoved his way past the few cheerleaders that hadn't left their leader and began pulling at Robbie's arm. "Robbie! Snap out of it! Don't go all soft on me, McBob! No!"
  Robbie gave no notice to RJ, who had nearly lost all hope of getting his best friend away from the girl who'd tried to kill him on six separate occasions. McBob had fallen in love with Lauren Wick, and Lauren Wick had fallen in love with Robbie. That much was true. There was no turning back, and Regenold reluctantly realized this. He turned away from the sight, as did Nicole.
  "It's over." He sighed. "They're in love."
  Nicole said nothing but nodded in agreement.

  Lauren Wick sighed, as she gave the last of the names of the cheerleaders who were trying to take over the world.
  "Yellen, Yodel, Yinershlinski, Zalus, Zenona, Zimmerer, and Zorak," Lauren sighed.
  "Thank you, Ms. Wick." The reporter put the note-pad back in his brief case. "This information will be most helpful."
  "For your aid in stopping that conspiracy," the judge began, "I hereby drop all twelve counts of capital murder. Isn't the judicial system great?!"
  "Yes," Lauren sighed with relief, "it is."
  "Are you ready, dear?" Robbie asked.
  "Yes." Lauren smiled. "Have all the arrangements been made?"
  "Yes." Robbie replied and took her hand in his. "At this time tomorrow, we'll be Mr. and Mrs. Robbie Greer."

  RJ and Nicole wept with both sorrow and joy as Robbie and Lauren strolled down the aisle of the small chapel they'd decided to hold the ceremonies in.
  "Dearly beloved," Reverend BigDawg sighed, "we are gathered here today to join this man and this woman in holy matrimony. If there is anyone present who does not wish that these two be wed, let him speak now, or forever hold his peace."
  "Oo, oo!" RJ shouted, waving his arms frantically.
  "No!" Nicole clung to RJ'S wrists. "Proceed, Reverend."
  "Gladly, little girl." He turned back to the bride and groom. "The rings, please."
  Ricky Greer looked uneasily at Lauren, as he handed the reverend the rings.
  "These rings symbolize your everlasting and eternal love and devotion to each other, at least until the story's over." The reverend began. "By wearing these, you express this love and devotion for each other. And now, Robert would like to say a few words to honor this occasion, Robert?"
  "Lauren," Robbie said slowly, "these past few weeks have shed light on my life. Before I met you, I was a mild-mannered soccer-playin' guy who didn't know much of love. But after trying time and time again to kill you, I realize what love is, and that, I love you. I may not be Isaac Hanson, thank God, but I promise to be the kind of husband that you deserve. Thank you... For everything."
  "I don't know what to say," Lauren looked down, "but that first time I tried to kill you, I felt something electrify within me. By the time Nicole shot you in the face in that alley a week or so ago, I knew that I loved you. I can only hope that our love lasts forever... Or at least until the story's over. Anyways, I am honored to be your wife, and I am honored to kill John for writing such a horrible ending."
  "Alright!" BigDawg shouted. "That was-that was, just, just, just beautiful. Now, let's see. Oh yeah! Lauren, do you take this man to be your lawful wedded husband to have and to hold, for rich or for poor, in sickness and in health, 'til death do you part?"
  "I do." Lauren said solemnly.
  "And do you, Robert," the reverend turned to Robbie, "take this woman to be your lawful wedded wife, to have and to hold, for rich or for poor, in sickness and in health, 'til death do you part?"
  "I do." Robbie replied.
  "Then by the power invested in me, by the Lord," the reverend shouted, "I do hereby pronounce you, man and wife! You may spread the love-kiss the bride. You may kiss the bride!"
  The crowd cheered as Robbie and Lauren Greer strolled back up the aisle and out of the church. RJ sighed with grief and turned to Nicole.
  "Nicole," Regenold began, "would you mind accompanying me to--"
  "Yes, yes," Nicole's eyes lit up, "accompany you to what!"
  "To plotting revenge against John for writing such a sappy ending?"
  "Ah," Nicole turned away, obviously disappointed, "sure."
  "And with me to the reception," Regenold grinned, as did Nicole.
  "Sure," she took his arm, as he escorted her out.

  The two walked slowly down the street, following the procession of guests all the while. Regenold couldn't help think that the story wasn't over, but he was alive, and that's all that mattered. As they neared the reception, RJ finally felt at peace, and he hoped to keep it that way.