Act I: Scene I
(Opens with a Newsman standing in front of a pile of debris)
Newsman: And this is George McCleveland for KLUK TV reporting live. Just a few moments ago, this neighborhood was a flourishing suburb, but tragedy struck hard in the 1600 block of Waterford Way. A nuclear explosion has laid waste to this once peaceful community. Hundreds have been killed. Thousands more have been injured. It's estimated that damages to this neighborhood could reach upwards of five million. Rescue crews are still pulling bodies from the rubble, and it'll be some time before the death toll stops rising. This is George McCleveland, KLUK TV. Back to you, Jim.
(A large, glitter-gloved hand with tin foil wrapped around the fore-arm reaches out and turns off the TV)
Leader: (Chuckles) So the world has finally felt the wrath of the cheerleaders. They will crumble like crackers... Ritz Crackers.
Lauren: We shouldn't under-estimate them though.
Leader: (laughs loudly) What? Killing a thousand people was as easy as pressing a button.
Lauren: True. I'm just saying we shouldn't count our eggs before they've hatched.
Cheerleader-2: (walks past the camera with a basket of eggs)
Leader: Like eggs, the people will crack! The world will be ours.
Lauren: Yes, ours!
Leader: (begins laughing evilly)
Lauren and Cheerleader-2: (start laughing evilly)
Act I: Scene II
(Opens with Lauren and Cheerleader-1 sitting in the front two seats of Lauren's car)
(Cheerleaders 2 and 3 are in the backseat)
Cheerleader-1: Sorry about Jerred, Lauren.
Lauren: What? The guy lied to me. I'm glad he exploded.
Cheerleader-3: Boom!
Lauren: Exactly. Besides there's plenty of other guys out there.
Cheerleader-2: Not after what we did! The whole neighborhood's trashed!
Cheerleader-1: How come the road's perfectly intact?
Lauren: What do I look like?
Cheerleader-1: A walnut.
Cheerleader-2: A pumpkin.
Cheerleader-3: A big, big, monkey!
Lauren: Don't make me come back there!
Cheerleader-2: I dare you!
Cheerleader-3: Scared?
Lauren: (growls a little) You just wait till we stop this car.
Cheerleader-3: Where are we going, anyway?
Lauren: The "leader" has ordered us to bring back their bodies.
Cheerleader-2: But they're so scrawny you could carry them yourself.
Lauren: I know, but I need you girls to help. If the cops see someone dragging bodies to their car, they'll be a little suspicious.
Cheerleader-3: Yep.
Cheerleader-1: But chances are they're charred or completely cremated.
Lauren: Do you question the "leader?"
Cheerleaders 1, 2, and 3: No, we do not question the "leader."
Lauren: Good. Here we are. Let's go.
Lauren and Cheerleaders 1, 2, and 3: (get out of the car)
Act I: Scene III
(Opens with a view of Robbie's shed with rubble all around it)
Lauren: (approaches the rubble)
Lauren: Dig!
Cheerleaders 1, 2, and 3: (run on-screen and begin digging in around the rubble)
Cheerleader-2: What are we looking for?
Lauren: Anything. Any sign of them. We need to make sure we killed them all.
Cheerleader-3: I found a bottle-cap.
Cheerleader-1: I found a hanky.
Lauren: No! Bodies, we need bodies.
Cheerleaders 1, 2, and 3: (turn and start posing for the camera)
Lauren: Not yours, theirs!
Cheerleaders 1, 2, and 3: Oh!
Mutant: (leaps out of the rubble and picks up Cheerleader-1, roaring)
Lauren: No!
Cheerleader-1: (screams and begins scratching and kicking at Mutant)
Cheerleaders 2 and 3: (pick up two by fours and start hitting Mutant in the side)
Mutant-2: (grabs Cheerleaders 2 and 3)
Lauren: (runs over and kicks Mutant-1 in the shins)
Cheerleaders 2 and 3: (get out of Mutant-2's grasp)
Mutant-1: (puts down Cheerleader-1)
Mutants 1 and 2: (run off-camera, howling with rage)
Lauren: Oh God, Kristin!
Lauren: (kneels beside Cheerleader-1)
Lauren: What did it do to you, Kris?
Lauren: (lifts Cheerleader-1's head)
Lauren: Jenn, look at this.
Cheerleader-2: (kneels down beside Lauren)
Cheerleader-2: There's a cut in her neck.
Lauren: (touches two fingers to Cheerleader-1's neck)
Lauren: She's got a pulse. Rachel, you and Jenn get her to the car.
Cheerleader-3: What about you?
Lauren: I can take care of myself. Just go!
Cheerleader-3: (takes hold of Cheerleader-1's shoulders)
Cheerleader-2: (gets up and takes hold of Cheerleader-1's legs)
Lauren: (walks away from Cheerleaders 1, 2, and 3)
Camera: (stays on Lauren as she walks)
Lauren: Ah ha!
Lauren: (reaches down and starts moving rubble around until RJ is seen)
Lauren: (grabs RJ'S wrists and pulls him to his feet)
Lauren: (tries to pick up RJ)
Lauren: Woo, I'm too weak.
Cheerleader-2: (runs on-screen)
Cheerleader-2: Let me help.
Lauren and Cheerleader-2: (pick up RJ and carry him off-screen)
Act I: Scene IV
(Opens with Robbie sitting in a dark room)
Robbie: The explosion's knocked out the power!
John: The power that the cheerleaders deserve.
Robbie: Don't you get it? Our friends are dead! RJ, Browder, Paul.
John: They were in the way.
Robbie: What have the cheerleaders ever done for you?
John: We deserve nothing from them.
Robbie: John! We've known RJ and Paul for five years. You've known Browder for ten! Our band spent long, sleepless nights recording our first album. The cheerleaders have brainwashed you! They've done nothing for us. Well Nicole did something for me back in our freshman year, but that's not the point. So get it through your head! Your friends of five to ten years have been murdered by cheerleaders. Cheerleaders, John! And I'm not going to sit by while they take over the world.
John: Overload. Cheerleaders good, but murdering is bad. How can good be bad when good is good and bad is not good, because bad is bad, not good which is shall cheerleaders who did bad but with the--.
John: (pitches forward and collapses)
Robbie: (looks down) John, you alright?
John: (slowly sits up)
John: What are you kidding? Of course not! The cheerleaders killed our band! That's not their job! It's Laura's!
Robbie: What?
John: Uh, Lauren's. Come on, let's kick some cheerleader butt!
John and Robbie: (get up and run off-camera)
Act II: Scene I
(Opens with a view of a TV-SCREEN)
(On the screen, someone is playing part of Super Mario III)
Leader: Yes, yes! Go, Mario, go! Ha ha. Oh yeah. Yes, yes, yes!
(Thunder is heard)
(Split second later, screen goes black)
Leader: What? No, my game!
Leader: (shouts in rage)
Leader: Where is that girl? It's been twenty minutes, and she still hasn't called in. I'd better check up on her.
Camera: (cuts to a view of Lauren leading Cheerleaders 1, 2, and 3)
(Cheerleaders 1, 2, and 3 are carrying RJ)
Lauren: Boy, all that digging in rubble has made me hungry.
Cheerleader-2: Me, too.
Cheerleader-3: Mmmmmmmm, food.
Lauren: Let's head over to Sonic.
Cheerleader-2: And drive in for a change?
Lauren: Of course, of course.
Cheerleader-3: Good idea.
Lauren: Oh yes, it is quite a---.
(Flashlights show their beams of light all over Lauren as a transporter sound is heard)
Lauren: (disappears)
Camera: (cuts to a view of a wall)
Lauren: (appears)
Lauren: Good idea. Hey, wait a minute.
Leader: You have not reported to me.
Lauren: I'm sorry. We were jumped by a few radioactive mutants.
Leader: Ah yes. I sensed it. I will have agent 12345 teleported to the medical facility immediately.
Lauren: Thank you.
Leader: You can thank me by engaging in the next part of the plan.
Lauren: What's that?
Leader: Before you take over the world, you must take over the "free world"
Act II: Scene II
(Opens with Cheerleaders 2 and 3 standing over RJ)
Cheerleaders 2 and 3: (hit RJ repeatedly with shovels)
Lauren: (runs up to them)
Lauren: Come on, the "leader" has plans.